Seeking Employment

I didn't post yesterday.  :(  I don't want to force it though and I just wasn't feeling it.  Today however was QUITE a day for stories at work.  So here you go......

I have mentioned numerous times now that I work in the staffing industry.  It's amazing.  There is nothing like it.  I seriously love it. 
But when you deal with people as much as we do, you see some CCCUUUUUURRRRAAAAAZZZYYYY stuff. 
So I wanted to throw a few things out there of what NOT to do when applying for work.

• There is NO REASON why I should know what your toes look like.  Your shoes need to cover your entire foot.  I don't want to share air space in an interview room with your feet.  
• Nap time should take place PRIOR to coming to apply for work.  This way you will not be tempted to sleep on lobby couches.  
• When we are holding a warm cup of your urine for a drug screen in the men's restroom, inquiring our relationship status is not appropriate. 
• As homey as we make it, our office is not your home.  So cramming your bare feet in the cushions of our couch is SUPER not cool.
• Dropping "F" bombs in an interview is never okay.  NEVER!
• If you have a crazy email address that says anything inappropriate or referencing that you are a "party gurl, " make a business email account to put on applications and your resume.  (Or maybe just re-think your email address all together)
• Panties in the shape of a rose are not appropriate gifts for someone that found you a job.  We can buy our own panties.  Thank you though. 
• Waiting until you get here to put your FULL FACE of make-up on in the bathroom is probably not the best order of events.  Try that at home before you leave the house. 
• When you have drive a Lexus and take your job specs down on your shiny iPad, asking me to loan you $30 for your steel toe boots doesn't sit well with me.  (We all know I'm going to do it, but I don't like it!)
• Farting repeatedly and waving the "stink" from your rear for all of the lobby to see is not proper job-hunting ettiquite.  (Or really at any time - unless you're 4 years old.)
• When we ask you for your nickname on the application, we just mean "Tim" if your name is Timothy.  Not "Huggy Bear, Big Thrilla, Q-Tip, you get the picture.)
• Leave your Big Gulps at home please.
• If you have grease stains on your wrinkled resume, please make a copy for me.  Because that makes me sick.
• If you have a cussing rapper as your ring back tone, maybe change it while seeking employment. 
• Bringing your momma to the interview is cute if you are 4 years old and pretending at home.  But when you are 25...........
• I know it can be hard to find a babysitter these days.  But if you are looking for work, you just cannot bring your kids.  Sitting in a tiny interview room with you, your baby and its very stinky poopy diaper is very distracting. 
• When I come out to interview you and you are on your phone and you hold up your finger in the "hold on just a minute" gesture.......you are about to meet feisty Ashley.  And she hasn't known Jesus as long as the other one. 

These are just a few.  I hesitate to even stop because I know I will think of others as soon as I hit "publish."  Go ahead and print these out and put them on the fridge if you are looking for work.  These will hopefully be helpful. 

I joke but seriously - these wouldn't be on here if they didn't happen.  So awesome.  When stuff like this happens, my day is MADE!  I LOVE IT!   So enjoy.  Never a dull moment in the staffing industry!